If you, or people you know, are downsizing you should be aware that there are five predictable stages of the process. Keeping these in mind will be helpful whether you’re simplifying your life or helping someone else declutter theirs.
1. Determination
When someone finally makes the decision to downsize, it releases a surge of energy and determination. This often leads to people starting things off in a frenzy. In this swell of optimism, people believe that with just a few hours and a little focus they can do the job by themselves. On some level they recognize this is not true. But they hope that if they can get it done in a hurry they can avoid having anyone tell them what to do with their stuff.
2. Overwhelm
People who jump into downsizing without a clear plan soon see their home’s familiar order devolving into a confusing mess. And/or, they find they’ve been working for three hours and have only made it through one drawer. As they get a true scope of what’s involved, they start feeling incredibly overwhelmed. However, they don’t want to tell anyone, or ask for help, because they don’t want anyone telling them what to do with their stuff.
3. Panic
As moving dates loom, pressure mounts and overwhelm turns into panic. The downsizer sees that they are drowning in stuff and they don’t know how they’ll get out. At this point, they ask family and friends for help; but they’re still reluctant to accept it because they know someone will tell them what to do with their stuff.
4. Grief and Resignation
Grief can come up anytime throughout the process, but kicks in especially when the downsizer realizes that accepting help is the only way they’ll get the job done. This can be challenging for all involved. The adult children can’t understand why their parents care about all sorts of stuff they never use. Meanwhile, the parents are greatly insulted their kids have no interest in taking home 50-year old wedding gifts, silver flatware or grandma’s dishes.
5. Relief
When people free themselves from the furniture, tchotchkes, books and other things they no longer use, there is a huge sense of freedom and relief. Soon after, the downsizer inevitably asks —What did we need all that stuff for, anyway? Having less stuff feels wonderful. The effort pays off. Everyone ends up happy.
How can I make a difference?
First of all, I never tell anyone what do to with their stuff. But I can create an orderly system that ensures that the process will go smoothly and easily. I understand the connection people have to their things; and I know how to help people stay focused on the task without getting sidetracked by their emotions. I know which items are worth holding on to; and where to take items that are being let go. In short, I can make the downsizing process easier every step of the way.
If you, or someone you know, plan to downsize the best time to call for help is before you get started! I’m here. I’m happy to help. And I won’t tell you what to do with your stuff!
